Unraveled
by UkeLevi
Summary: What if Humanity's strongest wasn't actually that strong? What if he's trying so hard to stay strong? What if he breaks down and everyone loses faith in him? Levi was strong on the outside, but what about on the inside?
1. chapter 1

"Eren."

Hearing his name, a boy with brown hair turned to where his name had been called.

"I need you to bring these to Levi." A tall man with blonde hair and thick eyebrows said, handing a fresh pair of clean clothes to the younger male. "He's taking a shower. All you need to do is bring them to him and then leave."

"Seems pretty simple." Eren muttered, taking the clothes and looking at them. "He's in his bathroom right?"

Levi, being the captain, had his own room with his own shower. He also had his own room and bathroom because he refused to even share any kind of living space with anyone.

The boy walked to Levi's room and knocked on the door before opening the door to the room. He walked in and saw a bunch of things on the floor, and the curtains were closed like Levi didn't want sunlight coming in.

"Heichou?" Eren closed the door and looked around some more. "I brought you some clothes."

He didn't hear the older male respond. All he heard was the shower running inside of the bathroom; Eren walked over to the bathroom door and knocked.

"Heichou?" He said, waiting for an answer.

"Just leave them by the door." Levi ordered. "I'll get them when I'm done."

"Ok." Eren nodded and sat the folded clothes by the door. He then walked over to Levi's desk and started looking at things. He noticed a drawer was open slightly, so he opened it more and looked inside. Eren's eyes widened when he saw several Wings of Freedom symbols that had been ripped off.

The bathroom door opened, and Levi walked out, picking up the clothes and then looking at Eren. "Why are you still here, Jaeger? And why are you touching my stuff?" He asked, clearly annoyed.

The older male had a black rope on and his hair was dripping wet. Eren closed the drawer quickly and walked away from the desk.

"Sorry Heichou." He apologized and smiled. "Your room is a mess."

"I can see that, Jaeger." Levi replied, glaring daggers at Eren.

Eren swallowed a lump in his throat and looked away. "I'll just get going." The younger male muttered, walking out of Levi's room and closing the door.

Levi sighed and got dressed in the clothes he was given. He sat in the chair at his desk and looked at the paper work he was given. _'Great. More work.'_

He sighed once more and started on his work. By time he was done, it was late at night and the captain was drained from the events of today. They had just gotten back from an expedition, and lost more people. Sometimes Levi questioned whether he felt scared or was scared. He had a label. Sure, he liked being the strongest. But when he really thought about it, he wasn't able to be soft, or scared or anything like that. He was expected to be strong. Levi knew he wasn't as strong as he was on the inside as he was on the outside. During the day, he'd show his strong exterior. Whenever they had expedition, he'd have to show everyone that he was strong and lead his squad. If he ever broke down, and cried, everyone would lose hope; because you know you're fucked if the toughest guy in the Survey Corps is crying. So during the night, If Levi ever needed to just let it out, he could. Without anyone seeing. Tonight just happened to be one of those nights. He had lost more of his comrades.

"Ohh~ Levi!~" a voice called.

Soon a girl opened the door, she wore the craziest smile ever. "Guess what!"

"Leave me alone, shitty glasses." Levi ordered.

"Oh come on, Levi! Stop being like that all the time!" The girl pouted.

"Seriously, Hanji, I'm not in the mood tonight. I'm tired and I just want to sleep."

Hanji frowned and walked out of the room, slamming the door. Levi cringed at the sound of the slamming door. That's when it happened. Tears started streaming down the captain's face. He cried as quietly as he could, not wanting anyone to hear him. _'Why am I so fucked?'_

Once he calmed down, he wiped his eyes and walked over to his bed, then laid down. Levi soon found himself drifting into sleep. He didn't resist it either.

"Hey Armin." Eren greeted, walking into the room that him and a few others shared.

"Hey Eren. Where were you at?" Armin asked, looking at his friend.

Armin was comfortably seated on his bed, reading a book and in his sleeping wear.

"Erwin had me bring something to Heichou." Eren replied, sitting on his bed that was next to Armin's.

"Like what?" The blonde asked.

"Just some clothes."

"Oh."

The two then sat in complete silence.

"Armin?" Eren asked.

"Yeah, Eren?"

"You...you did a great job during the expedition."

Armin looked over at Eren and smiled. "Thanks. It means a lot."

Eren smiled back and nodded. "You're welcome."

Soon enough, Jean and Connie walked in, talking about something irrelevant.

"Are you sure that's what you heard?" Connie asked. "I'm sure. It sounded like he was actually crying." Jean replied.

"Who was crying?" Armin asked, looking at the two.

"Heichou." The two answered, looking at Armin and Eren.

"Impossible. Heichou doesn't cry." Eren chuckled. "I don't even think he has tears."

"Well, I thought I heard sniffling when I passed by his room." Jean shrugged. "Can't expect humanity's strongest to be strong all the time."

Eren frowned and laid back in his bed. Why did the thought of Heichou crying...bother him? The man has always treated Eren terribly, yet he still cared about the cruel captain.

"I'm sure he's fine." Eren muttered, closing his eyes.

 _'He's fine._ '

Levi was not fine. The older man woke up in the middle of the night and started crying once again. He dreamt about his old friends-no more like his family. Then his mother, and uncle and his squad. All of it came back to him

"Damn it.." he cursed, wiping his eyes furiously.


	2. Chapter 2

"Attention! Today we will be going on a new Expedition!" Erwin announced. "Get your horses, and prepare your ODM gear!"

Once everyone was near the gate of Wall Rose, they left. After they exited Wall Maria, they split into their respective squads. Erwin's squad went left, while Levi's squad went right, and the last squad went straight.

"Captain Levi!" Eren yelled, riding his horse behind the captain.

"What is it, Eren?" Levi asked.

"Uh well, uh.."

"Eren if you don't have anything to say, don't say 'Captain Levi!'"

By that point, they were in the woods, riding along a path.

"Erwin wants us to meet him up north, note any changes that you see." Levi ordered.

Soon enough, a titan showed, which this one was easy to kill. After it was killed, they finally got to the meeting spot.

"Commander Erwin!" Levi yelled, riding up to the group.

"Um, Captain Levi, there's a problem." Armin walked up to Levi and his horse. "It's Commander Erwin.."

"What happened?" He asked, getting off of his horse.

"He's...dead."

Levi's eyes widened and he looked away. He found it hard to stay strong, harder than usual. That's when it happened; Levi started crying. Tears streamed down his face, and he fell to his knee, looking at the ground. Everyone watched as their Captain broke down, sobbing loudly.

"Is...is this it?" Eren asked, whispering, and staring at the broken Levi.

"He's actually crying..." Connie muttered, his eyes filled with fear.

"We...we should go back to the walls.." Armin said, getting close to Levi. "We can get ourselves together there."

Levi started wiping his eyes, then stood up. "Don't follow me." He mumbled, getting onto his horse and riding back the way he came.

He rode fast, down the trail and tears starting to stream down his face again. Levi stopped his horse, and looked down, then heard thunder rolling in.

"Damn.." He muttered, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

Levi had finally lost hope. He had lost almost everyone he had ever cared about, and never even gotten to say goodbye. First it was his mother, then his best friends, then his squad, his uncle and now Erwin. Not to mention, he probably lost the respect of all of his cadets. Foot steps could be heard from behind him, but Levi didn't care. He knew a titan was coming, yet he didn't even bother trying to kill it. Levi started crying harder as the titan got closer; once it got close enough and reached it's hand out, Levi used his ODM gear and tried to kill it, but instead, ended up getting caught by it.

"CAPTAIN LEVI!"

The titan opened it's mouth, and the Survey Corps soldiers rode in, ready to kill it.

"CAPTAIN LEVI, WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU!" Eren yelled.

Levi didn't reply, he was looking down, accepting his death. _'I'm coming to see you, guys..'_ He thought, smiling to himself, tears staining his cheeks. "I'm ready..." He muttered.

"LEVI!"

That's when the titan bit off his head, then tore off his limbs, eating him and swallowing. The Survey Corps were useless, their Captain had already been killed; and Levi didn't even struggle to get free. Mikasa sliced the titan's neck, and watched it drop to the ground, then start smoking.

"Y'see." Connie looked at the ground. "I knew he wasn't fine."

Eren started to feel guilty; he knew he should've followed Levi, and prevented this. He could've killed the titan before it had gotten a chance to grab Levi.

"What do we do now?" Jean asked, staring at the titan's body.

"Let's head back to Wall Rose.." Armin whispered. "It's the only thing we can really do. We don't have anyone to lead us.."

"I can't believe we lost Commander Erwin and Captain Levi." Christa stared at the ground, tears in her eyes, and the sound of Levi's loud sobs in her memories.

"Humanity's strongest wasn't really the strongest." Mikasa mumbled, getting back on her horse. "Let's go."

The Survey Corps then started heading back to Wall Rose, mourning the loss of their valued Commander and Captain.


	3. Final chapter

Eren was in the Captain's room, looking over all of Levi's things. Finally, he opened the desk and found a small book like journal.

"Hm?" Eren opened it to the first page, and saw the date.

 _12/05_

 _Mom has been getting worse lately. She hasn't been eating right, and whenever there's food, she gives it to me and tells me to eat. She always tells me I'm a growing boy and I need to eat. But honestly, I don't want to. Mom isn't healthy and she needs help. But there isn't any doctors that are willing to help. Mom told me that one day I'll have to learn to how to take care of myself. I already have to do that._

 _\- Levi_

Eren could barely read the hand writing, which was a sure tell sign that this journal was written when Levi was a kid. He decided to keep reading

 _30/06_

 _Mom died today. A strange man came into the house too, claiming to have known mom. He said he'd take care of me for a while and teach me how to survive. His name is Kenny. I don't know whether I should trust him, or not. But If he's going to teach me how to survive, then I guess I'll have to._

 _\- Levi._

 _12/08_

Eren knew by the handwriting that this entry had been written a few years later.

 _Kenny has taught me a lot of things. Yet, I think he still has more to teach me. I can't find him anywhere though. I got into a fight and he just, walked away. I've been searching for him for hours and I haven't found anything. I'm guessing he gave up. Almost everyone does when it comes to Levi Ackerman._

 _\- Levi._

The next few entries weren't anything useful. But one did catch Eren's eye.

 _5/04_

 _Isabel and Furlan had been unusually quiet this week. Maybe because they're afraid that we'll get caught with the ODM gear? That's not it. I know it isn't. I'm actually curious for once. Isabel had joined Furlan and I, a few months ago and had gotten the hang of the chores, and the ODM gear quickly. I'm proud of her, although I wouldn't say it outloud._

 _\- Levi._

 _7/04_

 _So. We got caught. This guy named Erwin Smith and the Survey Corps got to us. Erwin and his big bushy eyebrows, man I hate that asshole. But, he cut me, Furlan and Isabel a deal. We had to join the Survey Corps. Which was perfect because of the job we had to do. If we joined, Erwin would forget all of our offenses and shit. It was a two for one deal in my opinion. Actually, we really didn't have a choice._

 _\- Levi._

 _14/09_

 _Isabel and Furlan were killed. We went on our first ever expedition, and I left for not even 10 minutes, and they were killed by a Titan. I knew they shouldn't have went. I made the choice to stay with the Survey Corps, and I won't ever regret this choice. This is what I have to do. For Isabel and Furlan. For mom, and Kenny too. This is my choice. With No Regrets._

 _\- Levi._

Eren was sitting in Levi's chair at this point, tears falling down his face. He never knew about any of this. There weren't many entries, but Eren knew Levi had gone through tough times. The next entry he read didn't have a date, the same goes for the next ones after it.

 _The cadets this year are proving themselves worthy. Found out this one boy, Eren Jaeger, is actually a Titan. Ain't this fucking fantastic? The kid basically can regenerate, and grow limbs back like some fucking lizard. It's disgusting. He's caught my eye, which, I think is a good thing. He seems useful. I hope Erwin will put him to good use._

 _\- Levi._

 _My squad got killed. Every single one of them. Well except Eren. Why do I always lose the people that I care and love for? Why am I even surprised? I'm numbing up inside._

 _\- Levi._

 _Turns out that the female Titan was one of the 104th cadet graduates. Annie. Eren fought her in his Titan form, and beat her. But the worst part is, Annie trapped herself in some kind of hard crystal. It's basically unbreakable; which annoyed Hanji. And another problem. There's a hole in Wall Rose. But that's not the problem. There's a Titan in the wall. And we have no idea how it got there. The only person who knows anything about it, won't speak up. It really pisses me off._

 _\- Levi._

 _Well, Mike, Nanaba, and a few others have died. We've found out that there's a beast Titan now. And Ymir is a Titan too. And turns out Christa's real name is Historia and she's royalty. What a turn of events._

 _We're going on a new expedition. I might not make it back. I've been feeling more numb than usual. I actually cried, for the first time in a while, last night. It hurts, knowing everyone you care for is dying left and right and you don't even get a chance to say goodbye. Maybe it's best that I don't come back. The only people I have left are Eren and Erwin. I already feel like I'm losing both of them. Maybe it's just the depression, and anxiety acting up again. I can't give up just yet. Giving up means that humanity is lost. I'm humanity's strongest, and I have to stay strong for the remaining soldiers in the Survey Corps. Sometimes I wish they didn't expect me to stay strong. I want it to be ok to cry. But I know it's not. If I cry, they'll realize that I'm not strong. I would have failed them._

 _\- Levi._

That was the last entry. Eren closed the journal and wiped his eyes, he felt guilty for not helping Levi. He never knew Levi felt like that. I'm not even sure if anyone even did. Eren knew Levi was strong on the outside. But what about on the inside? Was Levi everything he made himself out to be? Was he everything everyone said he was?

"Eren." Mikasa poked her head into the room. "Armin and I are going to get something to eat. You should come with us."

Eren got up and followed Mikasa, closing the door to Levi's now empty room; and the journal sitting neatly on the desk, as if it was never touched.

 _"You've given me more than I could ever ask for, Captain Levi. I hope one day I can repay you, for saving me that day."_ Eren looked at the floor on his way to the dinning hall, a tear trailing down his face and falling to the floor.


End file.
